Just relax … Stay calm … Nothing suspicious going on here …


Nope? Didn’t get you? Okay … I’ll get you next time, though. Next time, it’ll be really super for real scary. Promise.

But, uh, that out of the way, I believe we have a game to review. This review is split into two sections: the background info for interested parties and readers new to the series, and the actual, you know, review of the game itself.


Five Nights at Freddy’s is an interesting one. It became really, really mainstream. But it’s still somehow really niche. I mean, a lot of the internet’s favourite things are like that, but I find FNaF to be especially interesting because … Look, I’m just kind of obsessed with it, okay?

The first Freddy’s game was released between July and September of 2014, depending on the system / store. (And if we know one thing about Scott, it’s that he can really churn these things out.) If you know FNaF, you know the formula. You sit in your office, tied to the room, and monitor the haunted animatronics that are out to kill you (that’s sure worth minimum wage) on the security cameras, keeping an eye on the power as you go. If you fail, you get a jumpscare. Bam.

The games took off for two reasons. One is that the story and lore are not directly told to you, and the community around the games was able to be an active one as it worked to uncover the story. And boy, Scott, good job, because we’re still working it out to this day.

Poor MatPat must be losing his mind.

The second reason was the fact that there are (not all that scary after, like, two times) jumpscares and people just love watching dudes shout in front of cameras on YouTube.

Oh, and there’s the creepy fanart of the animatronics, I guess.

This formula pretty much kept up throughout the first four games. There were a few things to spice it up—such as the second game giving you loads of animatronics and the third just one, but a bunch of other stuff to monitor—but that was the FNaF way, pretty much. People began to point out its problems. One was that the games, outside of their lore, were pretty much made up of still images and jumpscares. The second: They were getting repetitive.

Five Nights at Freddy’s needed spicing up. People wanted something new.

Was this fucker not enough for you people?

Sister Location gave us that. Though the gameplay was linear, it introduced many new elements and challenges that the previous games just didn’t have. Plus it was able to enrich the storytelling with more voice acting and more interaction with the animatronics, as well as adding more to the FNaF sense of humour that I came to love through playing FNaF World. It also had the classic FNaF gameplay with the custom night DLC—bringing back the FNaF 4 “Which of these characters are canon?” conundrum.

“Hi, I’m Scott Cawthon. You weren’t using that sanity for anything, were you?”

Oh, and Hand Unit was pretty funny. And he wasn’t the character that I was happiest to see added to the series. (Sure, I guess Baby is the most interesting, but I’m a real Funtime Freddy fan myself.)

All in all, Sister Location was pretty much exactly what Five Nights at Freddy’s needed. It was variation. And we could only hope that the next game we got would be the same.

So, how was it?



You’re in the fandom now, my friends. He’ll never let you leave.

So. I’ll level with you. I really enjoyed this game. It was going to do well anyway. The core FNaF fan base will always be here (*sparkles*), but it was nice to see the game actually deliver something interesting, entertaining, and pretty funny. And while the jumpscares were killed long ago, this game managed to be creepy. And, for me anyway, that tends to work better anyway.

Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator sees you play as the manager of an establishment under the Fazbear umbrella. This is a refreshing change of pace, as previously the playable character has always been on a pretty low rung, and brings many new and interesting elements of gameplay.

In this game, your character oh-so-very-I’m-sure wisely invests all his money in the pizzeria, and you get to run it. This means that every morning, you get to look through catalogues and purchase items for your pizzeria, then place them, upgrade them, make the room bigger, etc. There are all sorts of items to buy, ranging from the cups and plates to a new design of Rockstar animatronics to place on stages.

The game gives you plenty to balance. You’re given a number of stats to consider, from the place’s environment to its health and safety—and watch out for that, too, because you can get your ass sued. It does start to feel like the balance of importance isn’t quite … well, balanced, but it’s still cool to have to keep these stats in mind. The whole thing is fresh and new to FNaF. But it’s still FNaF, and that’s what’s great. You’re even trying to make it through to a party on Saturday.

After you’ve brought what you want from the catalogue and set up your pizzeria, you’re shunted into a new mode of gameplay. During this mode, you’re sitting at a computer, and bound to it, and to leave you have to complete a number of daily, pizzeria-running-related tasks that are set out for you. And this mode is when your classic FNaF comes in, because it has to. Wouldn’t the fans come after Scott if it didn’t?

See, despite introducing a whole host of new characters (Candy Cadet FTW, baby!), Scott brings back characters that we know in salvage mode. During this mode, you’re able to salvage old animatronics for parts, which provides you with cash. But, if you do it, you’ll have to avoid them during the day, as they’ll be loose in your pizzeria. This will definitely make things harder for you. Because, you know, death jumpscares.

Oh, and most interestingly (for me, anyway), of course there’s the lore.

Like every instalment in the series, this game isn’t going to hand you the storyline on a silver platter. You’re going to have to go looking. And, thankfully, the process of looking is pretty fun in this game, too. I won’t spoil any of the clues and secrets (and you probably know what they are, anyway, because this is the internet) but it was a little more interesting in this game than eyeing posters on the wall through cameras or punching codes into wall tiles. (I’m honestly never getting over that one.)

So, in conclusion, this game is great if you’re a fan of Five Nights at Freddy’s. You know, like I am, in a soul consuming way. (*sparkles*) If you’ve not visited the series yet, don’t start with this game. It’s full of features pretty much put in there for the veterans. And that’s what makes it great, but what makes it great if you’ve played the previous games. Absolutely play this game if you’re into this series. If you’re looking to get into it for the first time, start with the first game.


How about that one? Did that one get you?

Nah, I didn’t think it would.

While I’ve got you … Have you FNaFsters (ew, let’s never call ourselves that) got a favourite animatronic? Like I said, I’m partial to Funtime Freddy. That voice acting is just great.


4 thoughts on “Game Review | Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator

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