Title: This Movie Will Require Dinosaurs
Author: C. W. Neill
Published: TarcherPerigee, July 2014
Genre: Nonfiction, On Writing, Comedy
Writing is hard. Millions of people have attempted to write a screenplay, and most of them have failed to finish it. Curt Neill should know: he’s one of them. One day, while trying to get something down on paper, he wrote the following:
INT. I DON’T KNOW, AN APARTMENT?
CURT sits on the couch or whatever. Maybe he’s standing, it doesn’t matter.
Neill laughed, enjoyed the jab at all the technicalities that come with writing a screenplay, and realized he had the spark for a great blog. Thus, Untitled Screenplays was born.
Gathering the most popular entries from the well-loved blog as well as material never before published, This Movie Will Require Dinosaurs is a collection of the most ridiculous, bizarre, and humorous starts at screenplays Curt has created. Featuring random doodles and scribbled notes that reflect the intricacies of the creation process as well as a spectrum of over-the-top unfinished scripts, this book will not only appeal to potential screenwriters, but also anyone who loves movies or just a laugh.
With This Movie Will Require Dinosaurs, C.W. Neill provides a unique and rare glimpse into the psyche and creative process of a struggling screenwriter. From the most basic of introductory scenes, to gigantic blockbuster action films, C.W.’s imagination spans across all genres and emotions. And he’s never even made it to page 2.
“Wow, this book is good. Best I’ve ever read.” – Steven Spielberg’s neighbor’s plumber
“C.W.’s style is unmistakably hilarious!” – John Hollywood
“I still can’t believe he actually wrote all these!” – My buddy Randy
Man, that was a long synopsis.
This book is pretty fun. In essence, it’s a series of parody / satire screenplay snippets designed to poke fun at tropes, cliches, and bad writing. The sort of thing that it mocks is the sort of the thing that you’ll recognise if you’ve, you know, ever seen a movie in your life. Which is where the appreciation comes from, I guess.
You don’t need to be a writer to enjoy this book. If you’re a movie lover at all I think you’ll get enjoyment out of it too. Like I said, you’ll definitely be able to recognise the tropes that Neill points out.
That’s not to say that every joke is a winner. Plenty of the jokes in here are pretty funny. Plenty more fall completely flat. There are multiple dinosaur jokes. Or, you know, the same dinosaur joke multiple times. (And yes, it’s the one in the title.) And I’m sorry, but there does come a point when I reach my boob joke limit. Maybe it’s because I have boobs, but I don’t find endless boob jokes all that funny.
But hey, go check this book out if you’re at all interested. If you write or love movies it has its value. But I hope you like boob jokes, is all I’m saying.
Hey, wait. Did I make it through a whole (admittedly short) review without being sarcastic? How novel.
Oh wait. Damn.